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Fisking the Communist Party USA's "Bill of Rights"

I was trying to decide what to write about, had a couple ideas floating around in my head but nothing that I could finish in an evening or two of work. The 4th part of the Corliss Lamont fisk is coming soon but I still have a little ways to go to finish it. So I decided to fisk something, and went looking in a target rich environment...the Communist Party of the United States website. There is so much to fisk here that I asked my co-writer Cato to assist me in fisking this thoroughly. So we hereby present Reality Hammer’s first joint fisking! And it couldn’t happen to a more hapless and half-witted group of hysterically raving useful idiots.

Where I found a perfect target for fisking on their site is(actually I found a lot to fisk as it's definitely a target rich environment, but I have to start somewhere) specifically their “Bill of Rights.” Whereas in the United States, our Bill of Rights is a list of freedoms that we, the people, have reserved to us and that are inviolate and cannot be taken away by the government...the CPUSA has a list of whines that resolve mostly down to like, capitalism sucks and they want their free stuff NOW.

Sure its low hanging fruit, but its also a rotten piece of fruit that is very attractive to many low information idiots and other Hillary/Bernie Sanders supporters. I will say this for the CPUSA-they may want to destroy our freedoms and economically reduce America to a Third world hellhole like Venezuela...but they are honest about their aims and use accurate rhetoric for their aims. Unlike their better-known half brother, the People's Democratic Party of the United States, who try to pretend that their platform isn’t CPUSA-lite. Anyhow, onto the fisking. As usual, my comments and Cato’s are in bold while ‘lil Lenin’s are in italics.

Socialism is a common-sense path to a fairer, more prosperous and more democratic USA.

On the usual Marxist/fascist principle that one should tell the big whoppers first, as once they are swallowed by the useful idiots, the other lies will go down much more easily, the preface to this list of idiotic meanderings starts with a statement of which every word is a lie, and that includes ‘to’, ‘a’, and ‘and’.

The author of this article is a Roberta Wood, who is apparently the Secretary-Treasurer of the Communist Party. Presumably that means that she actually handles money at some point, presumably because somebody in the CPUSA has to do it. After all, there are some people who can be fooled all of the time, who pay dues or donate to the CPUSA. I am assuming that she got the job by default, due to the vast majority of socialists having difficulty with basic numbers, the rest of the CPUSA’s members most likely have a very difficult time counting above ten without taking off their shoes.

Sadly, if her math skills are on a par with her logical skills as evidenced in this economically illiterate screed...the CPUSA may need a bailout and a New Direction under a Visionary New Leader. I hear that Bernie Sanders is looking for a new job, as the one he wanted is currently still filled by the previous holder’s brother...a Mr Raúl.

What the joint labor of millions of Americans has produced ends up being owned by a handful of billionaires. Those same billionaires , without any say-so by the American people, make all the decisions. THEY get to decide to cut pensions, close schools, ship jobs overseas, and pollute the environment.

Gosh, those darn billionaires! Over there taking all the money and owning all the stuff, that explains why America’s standard of living is the lowest in the world and why that splendid exemplar of successful Communism, North Korea, who doesn’t have that pesky problem of ANY billionaires (other than um..The Great Leader and maybe a handful of flunkies) has such an equitable standard of living!

Oh wait, this is the Real World (not somewhere Communists/SJWs/Fascists/other useful idiots have much experience of). In the Real World; that noted bastion of alt-right thought; the BBC, estimates that North Korea’s average income is between 1000 and 2000 dollars a year. Even that number is deceptive however, as the average North Korean citizen has very little to actually spend his limited funds on, even if he doesn’t end up having to use them all to buy food on the black market to help keep himself and his family from starving. The BBC states that due to a poor diet and malnourishment, the average North Korean citizen is anywhere from 1-3 inches shorter than his unfortunate South Korean brother, who is cursed to live in a place where capitalism is unrestrained by wise leaders such as Comrade Wood desires for America.

Okay, maybe North Korea is a poor example of the wonders that Communism can do for a country. Let’s turn to the most famous example of Communism in action, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Oh wait, we can’t look at it today. Because it no longer exists. Something about Communism always failing in a head to head competition with the United States.
But wait! I know Comrade Wood would (hardy-har-har) say that China is an example of what Communism can do for a country. Indeed it is, just not a good one. According to the other major bastion of alt-right thought, CNN, the average annual wage for China is...4,755 dollars. Yep, that’s definitely something to aspire to, as it would indeed make a big change in my lifestyle if I was no longer being exploited by my evil billionaire overlords and was instead being...oppressed by benevolent Communists and their traveling forced-organ-donor-execution-chambers, making less per year than I make per month now.

In a socialist economy, things get turned right side up. The ownership and control of the means of production would be in the hands of those who do the work.

Indeed. Public ownership and control of the means of production is one of the basic tenets of socialists. Remember that Communism and fascism are both offshoots of socialism. The only difference from socialism is that Communism and fascism explicitly recognize the need for violence or the threat of it to convert an economy over to socialism. Socialism prefers to use “legal” means to end up at the same place. Communism is very explicit about the need for violence in order to bring about the “dictatorship of the proletariat”, and they have demonstrated their commitment to violence both extra and intra-legal in every society unfortunate enough to be placed in their tender mercies. 

With the people in the driver’s seat, corporate profits would no longer be Number One. Instead, the things the American people think are most important would come first.

Shockingly the majority of Americans still think they would rather NOT live in a communist hellhole like the old USSR or Venezuela. Or even in the somewhat capitalist polluted wasteland that is China. Instead they want opportunity to better themselves and build a better nation through innovation and hard work.

Also who speaks for the American people here? Ask any ten Americans on the street and you will probably get ten different answers. The answers will also be a lot different if you ask them in Rapid City, South Dakota versus New York City. We see here the typical Communist/Democratic Party arrogance that they presume to know what is best for everybody and what everybody wants. This is why every single major Communist leader who comes to power turns into a ruthless dictator who maintains an iron grip on power by means of violence.

Enough resources would be freed up to do many things.

Such as build new gulags? Create shortages of consumer goods? Build the big concentration camp of your dreams?

We could fully fund public education and health care for all. We could have mass transit, Social Security, free college tuition, and child care. At the same time, we could remove lead from our pipes. 

And have unicorns and rainbows and infinite happiness and.. Ok, I think we are getting carried away. Communists are masters of promising heaven and instead delivering hellish conditions. Also - Government: let us fix the problems we cause.

Yep, just like Cuba, we could have free public education and health care for all. And just like Cuba, the health care would be minimal, given in filthy rooms with no medicine, no equipment, and a pee stained mattress to lie on (Obamacare tried hard to sink to this standard, but it didn't quite succeed.). But the doctor assisting you would be well educated! According to the Cuban Solzhenitsyn, Armando Valladare, the myth of Cuba's education quality is every bit as fake as their mythical health care. He also points out that even if it was true that Cuba had a great education system, isn't it possible to have that without the violent repression of dissidents, lack of free speech, Orwellian thought control, gulags, and grinding poverty? 

In a socialist society, people would get paid for the hard work they do. They would be rewarded for the initiatives they take. 

Its funny to hear a Communist lay claim to the famous saying from the Declaration of Independence.

War, racism, sexism, and homophobia would lose their corporate sponsors.
We could apply the full power of American ingenuity and technology to reversing climate change and developing green industries.

I didn’t know war had corporate sponsors. Today's war in the Middle East is brought to you by…. McDonalds. Most of the conflict in the last half of the 20th century was a direct result of Communists attempting to take over countries. Meanwhile in communist paradise, Fidel and Che are busy executing guys. 

As usual communist propaganda points out “problems” in its target while conveniently ignoring its own horrific abuses that dwarf the worst problems of capitalism.

Small businesses would have a role to play in building this vibrant economy.
They would be protected from the unfair advantages given to big corporations.

Unfair advantages like economies of scale and product diversification. Most of big business's real unfair advantages derive from government protection and special treatment, not market forces.

Socialism in the United States would be built on the strong foundation of our Constitution’s Bill of Rights. This includes making the promises of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and equality for all real. The rights to a job, to health care, and education must also be guaranteed by the Constitution.

I'll stick to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" thank you. The Declaration of Independence states what the Constitution of the United States gives those fortunate enough to live under it. A chance to rise as high has your time and talents will take you. And under Communism, freedom of speech is only for those who praise the ruling regime, freedom of religion is solely for those who have none, and equality of opportunity is put up against a wall and shot. The author of this piece of inanity is a lying little libprog who belongs to the privileged class of "useful idiots" that comprise the liberal voting bloc. 


Strange, I wasn’t aware that McDonald's got to vote in US elections. Along with sponsoring wars, apparently Mcdonald’s also casts votes. I wonder how that works? Do they get one vote, in which case it’s irrelevant, or do they get one vote per person (over 18). If it's the latter, that's what we political scientists call “democracy”, one man, one vote(or if you are in Chicago, one man, ten votes, one corpse, twenty votes. All for whatever socialist hack the Democrat party has put up that particular season of course). Maybe McDonald’s has secret voter intimidation squads so that its members all vote the way Mcdonald’s tells them or they get their knees hit with a hammer. Kind of like how the school unions work every time somebody points out that they are perpetuating a failing system that turns out illiterate adults...who generally vote Democrat. Hmm...maybe it's working as designed then. Anyhow, that’s a different topic for another day.

A fairer political system goes hand-in-hand with a socialist economy. To work effectively, socialism needs the active and informed participation of the American people.

I’m sorry, the active and informed American voters don’t vote for socialists and their totalitarian thought control and failed economic policies. We generally feel that the way Venezuela is currently falling apart due to Communism represents a failure that we would like to avoid. 

Universal voter participation is the basis of democracy.

You will be made to care. As in the old Soviet voting when you get to vote but there is only one choice. One man, one vote. Stalin/Mao/Fidel/etc all were the man with the vote. Everyone else could go pound sand in a gulag. 

A socialist society also needs checks and balances.

As in the checks that the starving peasants were to both Stalin and Mao? Balances as in millions murdered in the gulags?

Organizations at the grass-roots level can make sure there are democratic controls. Our country already has great traditions of grass-roots organizations: town-hall meetings, tribal councils, and student governments.

None of which would have actual power in Communism.

Our working class has gained valuable experience in operating labor unions, cooperatives, and credit unions.

No kidding, credit unions? How does a Communist credit union work? “Welcome to the Castro Credit Union Comrade! Give us all your money and we will let you leave alive. Maybe. Free Che Guevara shirt with every new account.” It's got to be funny to watch a credit union run by people who are so economically and historically ignorant that they are...well, Communists.

So there you have it! The Communist Party of the USA’s Bill of Rights. It's one of most useless pieces of paper since...the UN Declaration of Human Rights. But you have to admire the CPUSA’s dogged determination to keep on trucking, even though their entire platform was essentially folded into the Democrat platform forty years ago.


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